


not for nothing

by occhiolist



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 06:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occhiolist/pseuds/occhiolist
Summary: The Avengers take Deadpool for a hit after Wade had promised Peter no more killing.





	not for nothing

Peter was trying not to be bugged by the fact that he was bored out of his mind, but after staring through the window of the Tower lobby for over an hour, it was nearly impossible not to be.

(Ha. Bugged.)

He was here, bored, because Tony had put him on lockdown. The Avengers were out dealing with a zero-g energy blowup by some maniac that'd been dropping the bombs all over New York for three weeks. Peter had been watching him on the news every other day, sitting down with Tony to track his whereabouts, and the minute they'd come to a plausible conclusion, Tony'd told Peter he needed to 'stay behind for this one'.

To make matters worse, he then explicitly asked for Deadpool to join them.

Needless to say, Peter was irritated.

Realistically, Peter knew he was being held back for a reason, likely a valid one. He was twenty-four, he and Stark had gotten past the whole 'you're just a kid' thing, and so had most of the other Avengers (although Thor still commented on his 'baby face' whenever around), so it wasn't for nothing. At least, Peter hoped as much. He'd be more miffed if he found out he'd been left home for nothing.

Tony didn't much care for Deadpool. "He's too variable," he'd told Peter countless times. "He can't be trusted to keep the team's function in mind."

Peter wanted them to get along, for Stark to understand that he was wrong, that Deadpool could be trusted, but he knew he wasn't wholly wrong. Peter could trust Deadpool one hundred percent, but Steve or Sam? Not so much. Which was why Peter didn't understand why Stark chose to bring Pool along and not himself.

Peter was suddenly jolted from his thoughts when the hall door opened to reveal the men in question, as well as Natasha and Clint. Peter scrambled to situate himself upright in the chair he'd been lounging in, and Tony looked around before catching his eye. "Ah, kid," he said once settling his gaze upon the young man. "Come on. Upstairs."

The younger superhero wordlessly followed them to the slightly cramped elevator. Peter glanced at Deadpool during the brief ride, whom refused to meet his eyes. Okay, the half-spider thought, now I know something's up.

The group settled at the meeting table on the top floor, Tony standing at the head, watching Peter as he sat. He cleared his throat. "Okay. So. We need to contain this energy. I want thoughts, efficiency-"

"Wait," Peter cut in confusedly, "Did you catch him?"

"Yes, we caught him," Steve answered from across the table. "Now we need to deal with the results."

"I doubt the government is interested in another mess to clean up, even if we saved their civilians' asses," Deadpool snarked, tapping his fingers on the tabletop. "But do I need to be here for this?"

Peter stared at the man as Tony responded. "I'd prefer that you were." Peter snapped to look at the inventor, while the mercenary grinned behind his mask. 

"Aw, Tony, I knew you couldn't resist me," he flirted, but it had little meaning. It was obvious he wanted nothing more than to leave. Tony, however, chose to ignore this, in the favor of returning his attention to Peter. 

"So what do you think? Any bright ideas?"

Peter's eye twitched. "From who, me?"

Tony blinked. "Obviously. Am I talking to a wall?"

"Well, I'm just surprised that now you're referring to me. Am I being demoted to clean-up crew?"

A large sigh, from more than one angle. "No, kid. It just wasn't a good idea to have you with us on this."

"Don't call me 'kid'. I'm twenty-four, not six, Tony." Stark wanted to cut in, but Peter raised a hand to silence him. He didn't acknowledge the raised eyebrows from Natasha and Clint. "And why the hell would it be a bad idea to have me? We probably could've dealt with this on-site. I mean, you brought Deadpool, and not me. Don't get me wrong, it's great that you're including him, that you're being more trusting, but what exactly could you possibly need-"

"He's a mercenary."

"-when he-" Peter stopped with the interruption, turned around to face Clint, who'd said it. A small 'oh' came from the younger's mouth, and for a moment, he couldn't speak. But that didn't make any sense, because Pool had been reducing the whole merc thing- he hadn't killed in more than weeks, months, never when unnecessary. He'd told Spider-Man he was stopping, noting how it made him unhappy. He wouldn't just suddenly go back on that, would he? Peter moved to stare at the man, who lowered his gaze uncomfortably. After a moment, the boy began to speak. "So let me get this straight. You guys got lazy."

Something boiled in Tony's expression, but Peter kept going. "You decided justice wasn't easy, you wanted this done and over this, you wanted efficiency, right? So you call up the guy you know'll easily kill somebody." He looks to the masked man. "Apparently."

"It wasn't like that, Peter," Steve said. "He wasn't going to be defeated easily, and the zero-g was mutating. We didn't have time for a soft approach, and he was resistant. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. Deadpool did so the best out of all of us when the need came." The mercenary sat up a little straighter at the praise, and Peter hated it. Not because he thought the man didn't deserve to be praised, but because of the way he'd earned it. The thought made Peter sick.

"Excuse me. I need to leave." He got out of his chair, heading for the hall. Tony sighed, swiping a hand over his face. Deadpool stood halfway. "Wait, Pete-"

"No," came the response. "Just- don't talk to me."

He walked out, and the room behind him was quiet.

-

Peter was aware that his morals made him a 'weak link'. However, that didn't mean he wasn't furious about it. 

He sat in his apartment, lying across the couch, thinking. Or trying not to think. He couldn't tell.

He was frustrated that he was even angry. Deadpool had been a mercenary as long as he'd known him, and long before that. Spider-Man wasn't going to just up and change that permanently. But he'd been doing better, and then he'd been used by Tony. He threw it all out the window for some cheap approval, and despite the fact that it had been Peter who'd wanted them to get along so desperately, he was bitter. Deadpool hadn't even spoken to him about it before it happened. No warning. No justification, no reassurance, no notifying- hell, he didn't even look at Peter till he was called out. He knew he'd fucked up, but couldn't even say sorry.

At this, Peter wanted to scream, because why did he give so much of a damn if Deadpool was sorry? This thing they had between them, these stupid little unacknowledged feelings, they didn't mean anything, just like life didn't mean anything to Pool. 

Peter shouted in frustration just as there was a quiet thump from his bedroom window.

He froze, panicking initially, then remembering that the only person who ever came in through the window was, of course, the mercenary. Usually in lighter circumstances than these. Peter sat up and waited. A few moments later, Deadpool strode into the living room, eyes settling on the spider superhero. He shuffled over silently. Then, "Hey, Petey."

Peter scowled. Don't "hey petey" me, he thought. What he said was, "What are you doing in my apartment? Come to kill me?" 

It was harsh and he knew it, and almost regretted it immediately when the masked man tensed, not moving. But he said nothing. Finally, Deadpool shook his head rapidly. "God, Peter," he breathed, "how could you even-"

"You didn't even bother to tell me! You knew what I'd think, so you just left without saying anything."

"He had it com-"

"I don't care. I. Don't. Care. You aren't in charge of who's life is worth living."

Deadpool visibly slumped at this, and struggled to speak. "I- Pete, I'm sorry. But they needed me. I couldn't risk more lives-"

"So you took this guy's."

"Yes," Deadpool said aggresively. "Yes, Peter, I killed him. I did what Stark asked of me. This one sick fuck wasn't worth you dying, why else do you think-" He stopped. Peter's eyes widened. "No. Wait. I mean-"

"You killed him... for me." Not a question, a statement. Numbly, Peter repeated. "You killed him. For me."

Deadpool grasped at the back of his mask. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"...but. Why."

"Steve told you the zero-g was mutating. Your own mutation- the spider-bite- it was too close to one of the strains he was including. He was going for supers. To make 'domination'... more easy. You would've been one of the first. Tony realized it when the reports came in about the First Avenue residue. He didn't want to risk putting you in danger. Neither did I."

So it hadn't been for nothing.

"Oh."

Oh? Seriously? But his mind was both racing a mile a minute and unable to form a coherent thought, and he still couldn't get behind it. 

"You still shouldn't have killed him. Nobody gets to say I matter more than he did-"

"Pete, you're just arguing for principle now."

Peter stopped. Deadpool wasn't wrong, but if he didn't argue, then he felt like complete and utter shit from the way he'd initially reacted, and he was conflicted on the morality and sensibility here. Moreover, he was a terrible friend, being bitter towards Tony and the others without the whole story. Attacking Deadpool when he just wanted to save him.

God, their lives were so fucked.

"Damn it," Peter sighed, pulling at his hair, settling back into the couch with his head in his hands. "I'm so, so stupid."

"It's okay, honey. I get it- I mean, I know you were pissed that I broke our promise. But I didn't- at least I didn't want to, but it wasn't for nothing. And I'll take you being mad at me, because you hate me for being a mercenary, I know, but you mean too much to me, Petey, and I should've said something but when Tony told me it would kill you I knew I couldn't argue with you, there wasn't time, you were in danger 'cause of this shithead targeting you guys and I know you hate me saying this but he had it coming-"

"Wade."

"Yeah..?"

"I don't hate you."

"Right, of course. Just-"

"No, Wade, I don't hate you. At all. I should've- I should've given you the benefit of the doubt. And I shouldn't have tried to change you."

Deadpool's face scrunched up. "What?"

Peter scrubbed his hand against his eyes. "Your... unaliving. Being a merc. It isn't my place."

"Petey-pie, you didn't change me. You just want me to do better. And I have been, not because I care about these assholes, but because I care about you and what you believe and if you really think a basket case like me is good enough to hang around, then maybe the pieces of shit I deal with... maybe I can't decide they don't deserve their lives. Or something." He paused. "Not all the time, though."

Peter snorted. "I can deal with that."

There was a long silence, in which they both looked at each other with varying feeling. Deadpool spoke up first. "Well, I'll just get out of your hair now. I'm sure I interrupted some very-"

Peter stood to stop him. "You didn't interrupt anything. I was just thinking about you anyways."

This stunned Deadpool for some reason. "You were... thinking about... me?"

Peter's faced burned slightly. "Uh. Yeah. About... everything." He tried to smile. "I was really, really mad, so I... I'm glad. That you showed up, and you know, explained. And I'm sorry that I was a jerk. You didn't deserve it." None of them had.

The masked man smiled invisibly. "You know how to make a girl's heart melt, baby boy."

Peter stepped closer and tentatively wrapped his arms around the former's shoulders. Deadpool immediately responded, raising his own to circle Peter's waist. They stood like that for a moment, in the reassurance that they were okay, this was okay. Peter felt secure, ridiculously content in the position he was in at this very moment, and was suddenly thinking back to his earlier thought processes. This definitely felt like it meant something. Taking in a deep breath and letting it go, he leaned back slightly to look at Deadpool's face- mask, really. He reached up to fold the mask at its corners, and felt Deadpool's grip tighten minutely around his waist. He pulled it up a bit more to Pool's chin, and gave the man a moment to stop him, if he wanted. He didn't. Peter pulled the mask off completely, meeting Wade eye to eye, crystal blue meeting deep brown. "Pete..." Wade exhaled, and impulsively, Peter toed up to meet the other man's mouth with his own.

It was like the physical feeling of finally, the way Wade held him, the way Peter fell into him. It was over so quickly, but Peter felt like he could've lived in that first kiss, that changing decision. When they pulled apart, it was softly, and Wade searched for something in his soul, perhaps a doubt, and Peter let himself look as honestly as he could. Quietly, the older asked, "Are you sure? Do you really think you want... me?"

Peter huffed out a rueful laugh. "I do. Pool, you've known for weeks. I'm tired of pretending, and acting like I can't have this one good thing." This one potentially really, really great thing.

"I didn't want to hold you to anything. I wanted to give you time." To change your mind, went unsaid. Peter shook his head, brown hair flying about. "No. I'm not planning to. I like you. You're one of my best friends, and I trust you, and I really, really like you, so much that it makes me feel stupid." Act stupid, too.

Wade frowned. "After everything that happened today, though-"

"Wade," Peter interrupted, "I'm not saying this now because I feel bad. I mean, I do, I was a dick, but I was forced to come to terms with it. I couldn't care this much and keep acting like I didn't. If you'd rather we stay the way we were, that's- that's okay, but-"

"No! God, baby boy, hell no. I like this. I want this. Like, a shit ton. If you'll have me."

"I will."

The smile Wade gave Peter could light up the sun.

-

He'd apologized to the Avengers, after having a pissing match with Tony about not telling him about the mutation strain. Tony glared at Deadpool for spilling at the time, but the latter had just shrugged like, hey, what can ya do. Eventually, though, Peter admitted he should've trusted the team. Tony was still miffed about being left to clean up processes by himself, but he accepted the apology, and hugged Peter stiffly. 

About two weeks later, Peter sat on one of Stark's couches, waiting for him to get out of some meeting with a contact Pool had in California. He flipped through Netflix on the large television screen, settling on some random 90's movie, when the two walked in.

"Hey, baby boy," Deadpool said, bounding over. Peter scooted over so he could sit, and snuggled close to him once he did. "Whatcha watchin'?"

"I don't really know, to be honest." Deadpool chuckled. "How'd the meeting go?"

The merc with a mouth shrugged. "Eh, Stark what he wanted. I was really just there for emotional support, right, Tones?"

"I told you not to call me that."

Deadpool grinned. "Mafia stuff, my man got his hands on some tech that doesn't belong to him, genius here wanted to buy it off him."

Peter snorted. "Gotta have it all, huh?"

Tony rolled his eyes as he walked past them. "I don't see you complaining, considering you're lounging on my couch."

Deadpool raised his hands in surrender. "Hey now, we don't complain. Keep the privileges comin', big boy."

"Don't call me that, either!"

The two snickered. Peter looked to his boyfriend, his expression softening as Tony left. "Hey," he said simply.

Wade poked him gently. "Hi." He leaned forward slowly, and Peter met him in the middle, kissing sweetly. They pulled apart, and Wade's arm came to rest around Peter's shoulder, who took the opportunity to lay his head on the older's chest. He looked up to see the man smiling, and gave him a matching one in response.

"Wanna find a better movie with me?"

A raised brow and a reach for the abandoned remote. "Thought you'd never ask."


End file.
